Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
