Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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