Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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