omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
