I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
