Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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