You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
