when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
