So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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