Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do vagina's smell?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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