So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
