Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
