The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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