the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
