You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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