So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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