I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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