the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
