I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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