i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sarcasm needs its own font
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
