Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
