dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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