all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
ttyl tear gas
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
