dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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