so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
