i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you had me at cake vodka
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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