I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
