it's too hot outside to masturbate.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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