I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
