he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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