evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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