so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I look better un-naked...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
