I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
