If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
