It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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