we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
