The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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