It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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