Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
