hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
