her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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