I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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