We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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