Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think people are normalizing furries
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
