I heard we made out
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
