Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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