she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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