Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
