apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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