Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize