using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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