dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
