New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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