Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
