His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
