my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she told me i tasted like america
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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