Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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