You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
