pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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