Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
