i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
