My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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